Matthew 6 as Art.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I can't sleep.

I am writing this from an Ipod touch. It is very modern of me. Or something. I don't know how to feel right now. That is a lie. I know exactly how I feel, it is just that it isn't very pretty. I am trying to trust God with everything that is happening: I pray that hearts will change (mine included); I pray for peace; I pray that His will be done; I pray for acceptance and that my heart will desire this; I pray for safety and that He will be with her always; I pray these things with Phil's "Heaven Song" on repeat. I pray these things through Los Angeles rain in a bed that isn't mine with an old friend in a bed nearby.

I am scared. Psalm 42.

This will always make me shiver in delight.

Glory be to God for dappled things--
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise Him.


Hopkins, "Pied Beauty"

God blessed me with some Portland today.

Today is a good day. I say this partially because yesterday was such an awful day, in spite of the fact that I have copious amounts of reading to do, and largely because I woke up to an overcast sky that enabled me to put on some yoga pants and a flannel and head out for some coffee shop bible-reading and bagel-eating. Did I mention the white chocolate mocha that Cass sold me on? It’s a Grind didn’t disappoint.

Neither did the coffee spot that Natalie, Marin, and a nice fellow named John (Jon?) took me to. McClains is located in the lovely downtown Fullerton and, though I found myself disappointed with the customer service, I was quite pleased with my iced tea and the homey feel of the menu and of the smokers who outside lounged. Quite pleased indeed.

Now I am sitting beside an unmade bed hoping that tonight I will buy a bike. I want to decorate my room. I want it to feel like home! Everything costs money. Bah, bumbug (like ‘humbug’ but less well-off).

Good music seems to be floating in my direction more often than usual. I’ll let you know what makes like butter and sticks (I just made that up...or maybe I didn't).

How is that for fluency?

He'll take care of it.

I’m ready. Hit me with another late night ramble, bartender. Tonight I got to Skype my dear, dear friends Britt and Taylor. I have decided to call it “Grype” – you know, group Skype. It was nice. I got a side-by-side narration. Pleasant indeed. God has a plan. Mmmm.

Now, as I listen to John Mark McMillan’s voice sing about an adoration for the King of Glory, I feel it. Through my dull headache and developing sore throat I desire for God to “peel back our ribs and step inside of our chests”. Focus, focus, focus. I feel it.

P.S. I get to study Russian as my foreign language here at Biola! I can’t wait to tell Scott (any Linfield readers should understand…)! Oh dear. I hope I will be good at it. Prayer, right? That stuff really sticks.

I need sleep, but I want to be poetic.
“You can’t always get what you want,
But if you try sometimes, you might find,
You get what you need.”
Yeah, yeah.

I go to school.

Oh my goodness, I am so blessed. God has been teaching me many wonderful and rather painful lessons in the past couple weeks. Where to start?

1) 1. I am incredibly prideful. Apparently my academic m otivation is fueled by competition with other students. Not being amazing at something, or rather not knowing that I am better than others at something is difficult for me. This I discovered via the Bible Bridge program that ate up most of my summer. God definitely taught me A LOT through the program, my incredible pride and sin being central.

2) 2. God is enough. Okay, wow. This is a big one. I have learned it in the past and I will learn it again in the future – “I’ve seen that tree before!” My worth, value, identity, future, reward, salvation and LIFE is found in Christ Jesus. Nothing else matters. Nothing else will satisfy my need for joy. Nothing else will give me peace. No amounts of chocolate nor any earthly relationship will adequately fill the hole to be found in the human heart – only the love and acceptance of the Lord is able. This sounds cheesy and you (oh, you reader, you) might be tempted to skip right over it, but I implore you not to. When I think that my purpose in life is to serve and glorify the creator of the universe and that He is enough to provide for my every need AND that I can trust that He will never forsake me…. I find myself at a loss for words. Pain and suffering exist in the world because of the sin of man and God was gracious enough to become man and take on sin so that we might have relationship with Him and be one day free from the evil that it in this world. I yearn for it.

3) 3. My roommate is rad. Yeah, Cass rules. She is from San Diego (ish) and is a particularly competitive Catchphrase player. Plus her tan makes me look like a sheet of paper.

4) 4. Reality L.A. is legit. I went to church at Reality this morning and loved it. Actually I went last week as well, so I wasn’t surprised that I liked it this week. I would make it my home church without question if it were closer, but I will spend some time in prayer and check a couple other places out before I decide. To be an active part of a church body or to stick with having community mainly on campus. Decisions, decisions!

5) 5. I love my families. But you all already knew that.

My list didn’t exactly stay on track. It is late and I have to be up in about six hours. FUN! I’ve missed you, Oh blog-land.

I will soon return.

I haven't blogged in oh-so-long. I don't have time to now...

BUT, I haven't forgotten about you. Or this. Or...well, yes.

I do apologize. See? I even gave my "I-am-so-sorry-if-there-were-anything-I-could-do-to-change-the-situation-I-would-face".

And I will return. Soon.

"Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Philippians 3:8