This will always make me shiver in delight.

Glory be to God for dappled things--
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise Him.


Hopkins, "Pied Beauty"

God blessed me with some Portland today.

Today is a good day. I say this partially because yesterday was such an awful day, in spite of the fact that I have copious amounts of reading to do, and largely because I woke up to an overcast sky that enabled me to put on some yoga pants and a flannel and head out for some coffee shop bible-reading and bagel-eating. Did I mention the white chocolate mocha that Cass sold me on? It’s a Grind didn’t disappoint.

Neither did the coffee spot that Natalie, Marin, and a nice fellow named John (Jon?) took me to. McClains is located in the lovely downtown Fullerton and, though I found myself disappointed with the customer service, I was quite pleased with my iced tea and the homey feel of the menu and of the smokers who outside lounged. Quite pleased indeed.

Now I am sitting beside an unmade bed hoping that tonight I will buy a bike. I want to decorate my room. I want it to feel like home! Everything costs money. Bah, bumbug (like ‘humbug’ but less well-off).

Good music seems to be floating in my direction more often than usual. I’ll let you know what makes like butter and sticks (I just made that up...or maybe I didn't).

How is that for fluency?

He'll take care of it.

I’m ready. Hit me with another late night ramble, bartender. Tonight I got to Skype my dear, dear friends Britt and Taylor. I have decided to call it “Grype” – you know, group Skype. It was nice. I got a side-by-side narration. Pleasant indeed. God has a plan. Mmmm.

Now, as I listen to John Mark McMillan’s voice sing about an adoration for the King of Glory, I feel it. Through my dull headache and developing sore throat I desire for God to “peel back our ribs and step inside of our chests”. Focus, focus, focus. I feel it.

P.S. I get to study Russian as my foreign language here at Biola! I can’t wait to tell Scott (any Linfield readers should understand…)! Oh dear. I hope I will be good at it. Prayer, right? That stuff really sticks.

I need sleep, but I want to be poetic.
“You can’t always get what you want,
But if you try sometimes, you might find,
You get what you need.”
Yeah, yeah.

I go to school.

Oh my goodness, I am so blessed. God has been teaching me many wonderful and rather painful lessons in the past couple weeks. Where to start?

1) 1. I am incredibly prideful. Apparently my academic m otivation is fueled by competition with other students. Not being amazing at something, or rather not knowing that I am better than others at something is difficult for me. This I discovered via the Bible Bridge program that ate up most of my summer. God definitely taught me A LOT through the program, my incredible pride and sin being central.

2) 2. God is enough. Okay, wow. This is a big one. I have learned it in the past and I will learn it again in the future – “I’ve seen that tree before!” My worth, value, identity, future, reward, salvation and LIFE is found in Christ Jesus. Nothing else matters. Nothing else will satisfy my need for joy. Nothing else will give me peace. No amounts of chocolate nor any earthly relationship will adequately fill the hole to be found in the human heart – only the love and acceptance of the Lord is able. This sounds cheesy and you (oh, you reader, you) might be tempted to skip right over it, but I implore you not to. When I think that my purpose in life is to serve and glorify the creator of the universe and that He is enough to provide for my every need AND that I can trust that He will never forsake me…. I find myself at a loss for words. Pain and suffering exist in the world because of the sin of man and God was gracious enough to become man and take on sin so that we might have relationship with Him and be one day free from the evil that it in this world. I yearn for it.

3) 3. My roommate is rad. Yeah, Cass rules. She is from San Diego (ish) and is a particularly competitive Catchphrase player. Plus her tan makes me look like a sheet of paper.

4) 4. Reality L.A. is legit. I went to church at Reality this morning and loved it. Actually I went last week as well, so I wasn’t surprised that I liked it this week. I would make it my home church without question if it were closer, but I will spend some time in prayer and check a couple other places out before I decide. To be an active part of a church body or to stick with having community mainly on campus. Decisions, decisions!

5) 5. I love my families. But you all already knew that.

My list didn’t exactly stay on track. It is late and I have to be up in about six hours. FUN! I’ve missed you, Oh blog-land.

I will soon return.

I haven't blogged in oh-so-long. I don't have time to now...

BUT, I haven't forgotten about you. Or this. Or...well, yes.

I do apologize. See? I even gave my "I-am-so-sorry-if-there-were-anything-I-could-do-to-change-the-situation-I-would-face".

And I will return. Soon.

"Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Philippians 3:8

Oh very young, what will you leave us this time?

No, I still haven't finished Joshua. I keep getting incredibly tired whenever I sit down to read. Or my neck will hurt. Or I will get a text message. Or... You get the point.

So, I made french press and turned on some Cat Stevens to try and put some of this into perspective. Cat asked me, "And if you want this world to see better days, will you carry the words of love with you?" I thought, "Well, good question, Cat. I should probably keep reading those words of love - they ARE being written on my heart (for the Bible tells me so). Thanks for the perspective, my very-confused-yet-musically-talented-brother-of-the-human-race."

Yesterday, I followed the ways of my beautiful friend Emily and went "no-poo" (hippie internet term, not Emily's). This is AWESOME. This doesn't meant that I never wash my hair, what it means in my case is that I am now washing my hair with a paste of baking soda and water. Let me tell you something, the stuff works. My hair was thicker, fuller, clean and full of shine. Seriously, I am hooked. Now, I am a bit concerned that my hair will dry out, so I will either continue to use my regular conditioner or I will experiment with a diluted vinegar scented with essential oils. I am opting for the latter at this point because I would like to get away from the processed chemicals and such that make up so much of the products that we put on our bodies. Watch out, I am moving one step at a time but next thing you know I will be making my own soap and deodorant.

Okay, it's 1 PM: time to revisit Joshua.

Redolence.

Madeline and Jacob came home today. Things are a little less lively around the house when they are at their Mom’s, so it is always nice to have them back. The back door was open when I returned home from work and the late afternoon sunshine was spilling in. I managed to convince an ever-willowy Madeline to go on a run with me while Papa Bear prepared corn on the cob and the trout that he and the kids had just returned from catching.

My favorite nights with my family are nights such as this. Even though we were missing two (it seems like we always are), the summer evenings spent sitting at our kitchen table with cloth napkins left over from the wedding four years ago, eating and sharing stories are pictures I will always treasure.

Now Jake sits wide legged reading a lego magazine by the kitchen light and Maddi sits in Joe’s lap giggling at her father’s recycled humor. Mama is naturally doing laundry. The evening light is fading and I am feeling decidedly poetic. Perhaps you have noticed. I am thankful for this. God has blessed me with quite the family and such a youth that I can only hope to provide for my children. It is not without it’s trial, and for that I am also thankful.

It is easy, in this moment, to find joy in trial and temptation. It is easy, in this moment, to rejoice in the building of perseverance and in the majesty of God who, in his infinite wisdom and depth, is all that He is wholly and fully. It is easy, in this moment, to worship. I wish I could bottle this moment and wear it as perfume.