Initialize Intentionalizer...

It is odd how, at times when it is calloused and contrite, a heart is brought to renewal. How when I am on my face, frustrated with my lack of passion and seeming apathy, "he restores my soul" (Psalm 23:3).

Last night I was lying in bed reading John Piper’s “Desiring God.” I was becoming increasingly annoyed with the nonchalance at which I approached what had previously been life-changing material. After some scripture (Psalm 51 and The gospel of John), prayer and thought, it suddenly occurred to me that I was not living my life for God’s glory in the manner I once had.

Who am I to live life for anything else? I thought of the changes that evidenced God’s presence and work in my life. I thought of the overflow of His joy that I am being allowed to partake in. I thought of the feeling, the deep, rooted, impossible-to-ignore emotion that had once been inspired in me, and longed for it.

“As the deer pants for streams of water,
So my soul pants for you, O God.” (Psalm 42:1)

So, naturally, I decided to take action. Aside from utilizing prayer and scripture, I am going to “intentional-ize” my life:

Sarah’s Life for the Glory of God: Take Two
1) I will glorify God with my body. In all the normal purity ways, of course, but I also want to honor God by keeping my body healthy and strong. So that means watching what I eat (No, not just watching it as it goes in my mouth…ha) and making sure that I am working out. I have already started this, but now, I am going to be doing it for the glory of God and not for the glory of Sarah.
2) I will glorify God with my time. I seem to be having issues with this one. There are times when I will literally be staring off into space rather then picking up the Word and drinking it up. Call it laziness, call it humanity, whatever you like, but it ends now. I want to be productive with my days, but more importantly, I want them to center on the Lord and I want my use of time to prove it.
3) I want to KNOW my God. My friend Kelsey and I were talking about this last night. There are times when I feel so ignorant of the Lord and his Word. I want to know more! I want to internalize scripture and use it to fight off the lies I tell myself. I want to study the Word, not because I love knowing things, but because I desire a more intimate relationship with Him. That last part will be a struggle.

Well, that’s all I have for now. Reading back over this, I feel like I sound precocious but this me, and there isn’t a lot I can do about that. As for today, I just finished up some reading and am now about to head to the gym. See you next time, folks.

I Long to See St. Judy's Comet Sparkle in Your Eyes When You Awake

"Now that I'm old, I'm not the way I thought I was"

Sera Cahoone, why have I just discovered you? You've reminded me that I change. That I'm changing. And further, I'm getting older. Shoot, I'm in college. What happens when I realize that I'm a grandparent? Lord willing that day will come- I should pay attention to the journey. Mmm, NPR, my dear, you never let me down.

Oh, but the learning isn't finished, there is more: Harper Simon sounds a lot like his father. You know: Paul. His voice has the same soft, sweet sound, but with its own punch- you can hear other influences. Which reminds me: as it turns out, research shows that babies may pick up language in the womb. Their cries mimic the rhythm and melodies of the languages they hear in the womb: German babies have a declining melodic cry while French newborns have a rising melodic cry. Fascinating. Though I do find it slightly unfair that Harper got to listen to Paul Simon sing songs like "St. Judy's Comet" while hanging out in the womb. It puts him at a bit of an advantage, don't you think?

This week was fascinating; I found some good new songs. They are from the "Hammock List" on npr.com's music page. Ahhh, they gave me "Couch Song" (quoted at the top of post) by Sera Cahoone, "Your Scar" by Charlemagne and "Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks. So, So good: I am pleased. And you should be too. Look up the songs: they'll make you feel like learning.

Music aside, this week has been very interesting. I read some Jonathan Edwards, saw old friends, went to Seattle, and probably my favorite of all, I met some new friends. Oh, and also I started this blog.

I brought it all to a close with some truth, worship and BFF time. I am blessed.

Making Mud Pies

I intend to blog to my heart's content. And then some, because my heart won't always be content. I once read that "joy is temporal," but I disagree. Happiness is temporal. Joy, however, is deeper- it goes farther and holds harder than circumstance and the order of each day. So, I plan to plant myself in the rich and hearty soil that is Eternal Joy (or rather, would I be the one being planted? A plant cannot plant itself).

Some day I will have a garden and it will be fantastic. There will be rows of peas and carrots and tomatoes. I will grow parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme (ah, Paul) and all sorts of things to cook with. I will fill my hands with the soil of this earth and remember that I was formed of it. That the breath of man was breathed by God into his nostrils and that we were made stewards of this place.

My name is Sarah.

In case you haven't noticed, I want my identity to be found solely in the Lord. My friend Nicolette is the one who gave me this phrasing. I'd had these thoughts bouncing around in my brain for a while, but I couldn't articulate it. I find it amazing that for someone who claims to be gifted at communication, I can never quite communicate the issues, discontent or desires of my own heart. At any rate, Nicolette has always said (as long as I have known her) that she doesn't want to date seriously until she feels absolutely stable in her identity as a woman of God. She understands that there is always more to learn and that she will always be growing, but she doesn't want her heart or her joy to ever rest in or on anyone but our King. I think Nicolette is very wise.

People think that they know what will make them happy: a boyfriend, a wife, a new phone, a new school. There is a quote by C.S. Lewis that has really affected me lately:

"If there lurks in modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Holy cow.