Making Mud Pies

I intend to blog to my heart's content. And then some, because my heart won't always be content. I once read that "joy is temporal," but I disagree. Happiness is temporal. Joy, however, is deeper- it goes farther and holds harder than circumstance and the order of each day. So, I plan to plant myself in the rich and hearty soil that is Eternal Joy (or rather, would I be the one being planted? A plant cannot plant itself).

Some day I will have a garden and it will be fantastic. There will be rows of peas and carrots and tomatoes. I will grow parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme (ah, Paul) and all sorts of things to cook with. I will fill my hands with the soil of this earth and remember that I was formed of it. That the breath of man was breathed by God into his nostrils and that we were made stewards of this place.

My name is Sarah.

In case you haven't noticed, I want my identity to be found solely in the Lord. My friend Nicolette is the one who gave me this phrasing. I'd had these thoughts bouncing around in my brain for a while, but I couldn't articulate it. I find it amazing that for someone who claims to be gifted at communication, I can never quite communicate the issues, discontent or desires of my own heart. At any rate, Nicolette has always said (as long as I have known her) that she doesn't want to date seriously until she feels absolutely stable in her identity as a woman of God. She understands that there is always more to learn and that she will always be growing, but she doesn't want her heart or her joy to ever rest in or on anyone but our King. I think Nicolette is very wise.

People think that they know what will make them happy: a boyfriend, a wife, a new phone, a new school. There is a quote by C.S. Lewis that has really affected me lately:

"If there lurks in modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Holy cow.