Papers for days and days and days and days.

Oh, for grace to trust Him more.

"Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!


Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace."

Oh, He is good! We are made clean by his blood. My sin is forgiven. I am justified. From sin and self I cease. My sin is covered, atoned for, redressed: not in part, but the whole. Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose three days later. He has victory over death. And with his resurrection came the Kingdom - or at least the beginnings of it. It is already here, but not yet complete.

It is the "not yet" factor that allows for the anxiety. I am overwhelmed with the amount that must be accomplished in the next three weeks: 20-30 hours of work, 23 hours of training, 4 mini-analysis', 3 high school small group meetings, 3 research papers, 2 presentations, 2 final exams, 1 creative project, and 1 retreat. Then it is off to Ashland to watch plays and write papers, to Portland to see my family and my dear friends and to start my internship.

And in the Fall to return and assume my position as office assistant for AS/SMU. I have officially met both staffs and I already feel like I am a part of a family. God has been so good as to put me on a little office staff of girls who are servant hearted and willing to dive in head-first. They are sweet and assertive and it is clear that they love the Lord. And, even though it gives me hives to think of not doing homework for an entire weekend (see above: "1 retreat"), I cannot wait to spend time with them and get a taste of who they are and what they are passionate about.

I am currently in the library about to tackle a small piece of the monster that is my homework load. My computer has 28%. I forgot my charger at the apartment.

Welp.

Like a diamond in the sky

Okay, I think I am back. I know this has been the topic of my last two or three serious blogs, so I'll leave it at that. In all reality, who knows when I will post again - but I am posting now!

The last few days have been whirlwind-y. 48 hours ago I had no idea where I would be working this summer or next semester. Consequently, I didn't know what my Fall classes would be either. And though I still have some decisions to make about classes (to prep for grad school or...not?), I am officially employed for the next year of my life and I am registered for most of my classes. Now to find a place to live for my senior year...

I did next week's reading for my critical theory class last night and I am feeling rather proud to be an English major. Martha Nussbaum's Cultivating Humanity argues for the literature's role in making a compassionate, respectful, and thoughtful person. As children we sing "Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are?" and an actual sense of wonder and mystery develops inside us. What does the star feel? Does the star have an inner life? The child develops compassion for the star and begins to employ the imagination to understand what the star must feel like, experience. This very act is formative. How many people do you know that take the time to understand the inner-life of someone who is different? This reading reignited my passion for education, for narrative, for the imagination. I am so thankful that my mother read to me as a child.

I am almost finished with Beloved, Toni Morrison's magical realist novel about an escaped slave, Sethe, whose murdered daughter comes back to haunt her. I'm all about it. I tend to take on the persona of whatever I am currently reading, so right now, everything is sorrowful and fantastic. In my mind, I describe everything as internally and metaphorically as possible. I just reached page 259 and, for the first time, received a physical description of one of the main characters. I hadn't realized that for the entire novel, I had no idea what she looked like. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Today: research, academic advising, reading, laundry, groceries, shower. And all before the AS new staff meet and greet at 5 pm. Rock on.