And twenty days later

Today is a glorious day. I have finished my theology test, turned in my Beowulf essay, printed my time card, eaten lunch, and am now sitting peacefully at work our little writing center without an appointment for another 45 minutes. Delightful. And even though I could totally go for a nap, and I know that after 2:00 PM my day will be solely dedicated (save the probable, unexpected appointment) to reworking my essay on the contrasting imagery in Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "The Cry of the Children," I am contented.

I am officially a month into my third semester here at Biola University. I realize that I like it in spite of the fact that the temperature remains within five degrees of 80. God has blessed me with genuine friends, a safe, warm, spacious home, a steady job, and the desire to keep striving. I never understood what the big deal about finishing college was, "The hard part is getting there - then it's all down-hill!" But, as the months roll by, I am comprehending that one might just give up. People do. The more time that passes, the less foreign this seems.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm doing with my life. Am I getting the degree that will best prepare me to love/help people, serve God and further the Kingdom? What does the church need right now? Am I capable of providing that? Has God put a desire in my heart to fill that need? What do non-profits want in an employee? What sort of non-profit should I be looking for anyway? Is it important to be with a Christian organization, or should I be open to working anywhere? Should I go to law school? Would I like law school....at all? If not, what sort of graduate school would I enjoy? What sort of graduate degree will prove most useful? Can I know the answers to any of these questions, or should I simply seek God and trust the desires that he puts in my heart? Why does coffee cost so much money? Does Bill O'Reilly get dizzy when he leaves the no-spin zone? Yes, I stole that last one from Stephen Colbert.

I don't know. These questions, excepting that last two, are on rotation in my head every time I think about "big-picture" school. I have met with a couple of professors to seek advice, but I think it might be important for me to wait on the Lord. After all, no one else is all-knowing, all-powerful and the exact definition of wisdom.

I think I will be still for the remaining 20 minutes of tranquility.